Freddy Vs Jason.
It was on Starz, I was bored, end of story.
The basic plot of the movie, for those of you not in the know:
Freddy has been trapped in hell unable to terrorize the kiddies. This is because Freddy has the same life insurance plan as Tinkerbell, and requires peoples belief in order to survive (Think less clapping, more screaming.) So he's been poking around, trying to find a way to launch his come back tour. Somehow he comes across Jason, who has been a lazy serial killer and napping since his last movie. Freddy convinces Jason, via the old "Hey, I'm your mom! Do what I say!" scam, to go to Elm Street and start hacking up some teenagers. The logic being that they will think it's Freddy, start being scared of him again, thus bringing him back. This works like a charm, but Jason, being the little energizer bunny of death he is, won't stop killing off Freddy's "kids". Freddy gets all pissed at Jason, and they have a smackdown. Hence the title of the movie.
Oh, and there's this bizarre insane asylum/experimental drug/dad killed my mom sub plot they tried throwing in there. I'm not even going to go into that because, quite frankly, I still don't really understand it's purpose.
The cast of "teenagers" in this movie are the standard no names trying to break into the industry. Save the one that's played by that chick from Destiny's Child. And they're all uber annoying.
Seriously.
By the end of the scene they're introduced in, you start praying Jason or Freddy will hurry the fuck up and start slaughtering already.
The people of the town aren't very bright either. I mean, Jason's lumbering around, all oogie like in the hockey mask, with a big ass knife, and no one sees him and makes the connection?
"Marge, you don't think that large dirty man with the big knife and hockey mask we saw shuffling around last night had anything to do with those murders?"
"No, of course not! Any murders around here are obviously commited by that Freddy fellow. Everyone knows that"
"Whose that then?"
"YOU know. The one we lit on fire and killed only to come back in his first movie plus multiple sequels to exact revenge through killing all our horny teenagers? Sucked Johnny Depp into a bed?"
"Ah, right, THAT Freddy. Nevermind."
But then, I suppose that's horror flicks for you. Please check all logic at the door.
The big final fight between Freddy and Jason (which takes place at Crystal Lake, which is apparently a conveniant hour drive from Elm St.) pretty much plays out like this:
Freddy: "I want to kill the kids!" *stab, punch*
Jason:"Urrrrrgh!" *smack, slash*
Freddy: "NO! I want to kill the kids" *slash, stab, dismembers*
Jason:"Arrrrrggh!" *bleeds, stabs, gashes*
Audience: SOMEONE please kill the kids!
Kids: *have lame dialogue, are annoying*
This is where, using the convientantly placed gas pump and stack of tanks filled with highly explosive something (propane?), blow up Freddy and Jason. Of course, Freddy comes back.
Audience: Oh no! Jasons dead! Well, at least we still have Freddy.
Freddy: Now to kill the kids!
Audience: Our hero!
Jason leaps out of the water, impales Freddy with his own glove of pointy bits and Jason sinks back into the water. Annoying kids cut Freddy's head off with Jasons knife, which, though having the appearance of a rusty piece of crap can slice through human bone like buttah, even when weilded by a tiny blonde chick.
Audience: Crap.
So in the end, two of the kids survive, and Freddy and Jason off each other. Except, we all know that they can't actually die, so the final shot is Jason shuffling out of the lake, holding Freddy's head which promptly smiles at the camera. Oh the cheese!
Because if they did die the movie industry wouldn't be able to cash in on the profitable sequel where Freddy and Jason team up and drive cross country Thelma and Louise style.
Oh yeah, and I know Jason doesn't use a big knife, it's one of those sword thingies people use in jungles to hack away the brush, but fuck if I can remember what they're called.
