Friday, August 27, 2004

Without A Paddle

Saw it tonight with Katrina. All I have to say, is it's worth seeing for this joke alone:

Seth, Matt and Dax are lost in the woods with no gear and start hearing music.

Matt:Hey wait, listen. You hear that?

Seth:Yeah . . .yeah! It sounds like . . . like Creed.

Dax:Oh god. I never thought I'd be happy to hear something that sounds like Creed.

Whoever wrote that joke, I fucking love you.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Ain't that the Truth

"What type of attitude problem do you have?"
Your Mean
You just say whatever you want without thinking about how it will make the other person feel. You've probably said every mean thing possible so how about you try this....


Road Trip!

Breakdown of me and Kat's trip to Mass.

- Kat picks me up 45 minutes late, which in "Kat Time" is actually only 10 minutes late. (If you know her, you automatically tack on about 30 minutes to the decided time of departure). She has an ear ache and fears head explodey.

- We stop for necessities of coffee and pain killers. Kat decides to call Jeremy because he is not aware of "Kat Time" and we're running uberly late at this point.

- On the road Kat and I see a blimp advertising Carb Counters. If you don't understand why that's funny, I don't want to talk to you.

- We arrive at Jeremy's place, then do the standard "Okay, what the fuck do we do now?" convo. We discover we are all indecisive fuckwits. The sky opens up so god can piss on our day.

- Wander around Northampton and get soaked. Have delicious drinks at some funky coffe joint, and see Susan Powter. Kat and I contemplate yelling, "Stop the insanity!!". Jeremy just looks frightened.

- See AVP at a movie theater that charges 5 fucking bucks!! That is INSANE! AVP = funniest shit I've seen in a long time.

- Go to video game store. I make a crass joke about a Mary Kate and Ashley video game. Kat nearly disowns me, and Jeremy gives a look which could have been, "Yeah, that's funny" or, "Yeah, you're a crass bitch". Not sure. I think it hinges on wether or not he has a secret shrine to the Olsen twins hidden in his room.

- Eat at a Chilli's that thinks it's fun to torture it's patrons with bad 80's music, buy booze, go back to Jeremy's place.

- Look at Jeremy's pet rats. Bloody cute. Start getting progressivly drunker. Kat begins engaging in Kat like drunk activities, mostly involving the biting of Jeremy and I (way more Jeremy than me). After staying up all night engaging in drunkard talk, we finally decide to sleep close to 5am.

- I'm woken up 30 minutes later by Kat. She's trying to make out with my elbow. Probably due to it's uncanny resemblance to Jeremy's face.

- I wake up at 6:15, nearly falling off the mattress and freezing to death from having no cover. I secretly hate the other two bed hogs, and after 15 minutes of no sleepy (and being passive aggressive and not just ripping the covers from them both), decide to just get up.

- Spend time while the bed hogs slept reading Douglas Adam's book Jeremy purchased the previous day and contemplating evil things only I would find funny. Thank god no one can read minds.

- Going on 11am and the bed hogs are still sleeping. Jeremy chases squirrel's in his sleep in between periods of snoring a snore that would put my father to shame (that, is saying a lot). I contemplate elfing them both, or throwing small peices of paper at them.

- Noon. I finally decide they are worthy of no more sleep and start poking Kat. She sleeps like the dead and takes 10 minutes of poking to get her to wake up.

- Sit around for several hours talking about many amusing things. Jeremy gives me a pair of ring closures (kickass!) in the event that my bead pops out of my lip ring again.

- Finally decide we should leave. I start feeling like death warmed over during the drive home and secretly wish violent doomy plague upon all happy people in the world.

- Home. Sleep. Good.

Fun trip overall. It was cool meeting Jeremy, very spiff guy. Still not sure if he thinks I'm funny or just crass. Meh.

I now smell of cigarette smoke and funk and have a bruise on my arm where Kat bit me. She's a vicious drunk, she is. I must shower and do some work.