Flypaper for Freaks

I'm flypaper for freaks.

It's sad, but it's true.

Here's one of many examples. Happened a few days ago.

I was on my break from work. Most days during my breaks I buy myself something to drink (usually a Fuze) put on my headphones and just walk. No real aim, no real point, just blasting some music and getting lost in my head.

This was one of those breaks. I was enjoying myself immensly, drowning out the sounds of the city with some New York Dolls on full blast, when I noticed an older gentleman, had to be AT LEAST in his 40's, which makes the following conversation that much more bothersome and weird (remember, I'm 21 and look about as much) trying to get my attention. So I take off my headphones and the following exchange takes place;

Weirdo: "I'm sorry, I just noticed you have a lip ring and was wondering if you could recommend a place in the city that I could get my tongue pierced at."

Me: "Yeah sure, there's this place downtown called Andromeda... "

Weirdo: "Oh yeah! I heard there were some good places downtown. See, it's my birthday and I really just want to get my tongue pierced. So I'm looking for a place. Uh, what are you doing right now?"

Me: o O (Oh fuck.) "Um, actually, I'm just heading back to work, I should really get going."

Weirdo: "Oh you're on lunch break? How about this, what if I buy you lunch? Can I buy you lunch?"

Me:"Uh, no, no thank you sir, my breaks almost over, I really have to be getting back."

Weirdo: "Oh, so you work around here? What do you do?"

Me: "I'm a sales clerk."

Weirdo: "What do you sell, like, clothes?"

Me: "Uh, no, I work at an electronics place." (I work in a comic book store.)

Weirdo:"Oh, do you make comissions when you sell things? Like, if I buy something from you will you get money, cause it's my birthday, and I have money."

Me: "No, sir, I don't. I really have to go..."

Weirdo: "Well, what if after your done with work, if I give you a 100 dollars, will you take me downtown to get my tongue pierced? Cause, I'll pay you 100 dollars if you come with me."

Me: *blank stare* "I'm have to go NOW, sir." o O (Please don't follow me, please don't follow me.)

And people wonder why I'm anti social.