Hey You

Yeah you. The one sitting behind me in the theater. The one that can't discern the difference between a public theater and their living room. The one that won't bloody shut up.

Please do me this single favor and burst into flame.

Do it quietly.

A Note to Men Everywhere

You should never have long nails. For the love of god, trim you're fucking nails.

There's a number of men who come into the store, and when they hand me their bags I see their long ass grody finger nails. It's creepy, and it's gross.

Please stop it.

Thank you.