L. Ron Was A Shitty Pirate

The following AIM convo between Katrina and myself was spawned out of me stumbling across an article about the "Psychiatry: An Industry of Death" museum opening.

KaoticTendencies: "Ribisi is an active Scientologist, and he participated in the gala opening of Scientology's controversial "Psychiatry: An Industry of Death" Museum in December 2005."
KaoticTendencies: I hate when I find out actors I like may be completely insane.

Camarilla7: Shit, have they always been Scientologists?

KaoticTendencies: It says his mom is, so I'm guessing yeah. Though how old is Scientology?
KaoticTendencies: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatry:_An_Industry_of_
KaoticTendencies: Dude.
KaoticTendencies: Like. . . dude.

Camarilla7: Scientology came out in the early 70's.
Camarilla7: I think.

KaoticTendencies: I love that they marketed the museum at the World Science Fiction convention.
KaoticTendencies: That should say it all really.

Camarilla7: Oh wait, he wrote Dianetics in the 50's.
Camarilla7: So the 50's. Scientologists are such toons.
Camarilla7: Though it gives me hope. If I write a fictionalized book about some fucked up religion I can totally be a religious icon in only 50 years.

KaoticTendencies: Ha.
KaoticTendencies: True.

Camarilla7: I mean, I don't even have to wait as long as Jesus.
Camarilla7: It just has to be way fucking out there.
Camarilla7: Though now that aliens are taken, I think my religion will say that we all came from the center of our earth. And that earthquakes are the elder's that still live near the core's way of calling to us. And in 2149 a giant earthquake will cause a shift of plates that will drain part of the Pacific and allow the chosen ones to climb back down to the Elderland.
Camarilla7: That's way good, I'm totally going to be a religious icon.
Camarilla7: Now I just need to come up with a doctrine and all that shit.
Camarilla7: And make it look old, and say I found it when I'm writing my novel.

KaoticTendencies: Awesome.

Camarilla7: Kind of like Lovecraft writing the Necronomicon, but with less cthulu.

KaoticTendencies: Can I be your Grand Poobah or whatever?

Camarilla7: Totally.
Camarilla7: We will co-author it so we can both be icons.

KaoticTendencies: I'm on the Scientologist website.
KaoticTendencies: http://www.scientology.org/en_US/religion/presentation/p
KaoticTendencies: I like the picture models.
KaoticTendencies: Especially his sad panda face.
KaoticTendencies: "A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where man is free to rise to greater heights, are the aims of Scientology."

Camarilla7: Wow, I didn't think I'd ever see a religion site worse than Kirk Cameron's. This one totally beats it though.

KaoticTendencies: "We will never betray your faith in us so long as you are one of us."
KaoticTendencies: Creeeeepy.
KaoticTendencies: "The sun never sets on Scientology."

Camarilla7: Hahaha.

KaoticTendencies: The shit they have on Hubbard is fucking rediculous.
KaoticTendencies: He revolutionized drug rehab doncha know.
KaoticTendencies: "He found success writing pulp/science fiction, but as he declared in the late 1940s: "Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."" (This quote was taken from "Operation Clambake" an anti Church of Scientology site)
KaoticTendencies: Ha.

Camarilla7: He admitted he was a quack and they don't care.
Camarilla7: People amaze me.

KaoticTendencies: "In mid-1967 Hubbard bought three ships and put to sea with a small cadre of followers. Styling himself "the Commodore," he spent the next several years wandering the Atlantic, pursued by imaginary Reds and Nazis and attended by "Commodore’s Messengers," teenaged girls dressed in white hot pants who waited on him hand and foot, bathing and dressing him and even catching the ash from his cigarettes. He had frequent screaming tantrums and instituted brutal punishments such as incarceration in the ship’s filthy chain-locker for days or weeks at a time and "overboarding," in which errant crew members were blindfolded, bound and thrown overboard, dropping up to 40 ft. into the cold sea and hoping not to hit the side of the ship with its razor-sharp barnacles on the way down. These punishments applied to children as well as to adults."(This quote was taken from "Operation Clambake" an anti Church of Scientology site)
KaoticTendencies: I don't know how accurate that is, but from what I understand he was one hell of a bigoted asshole.

Camarilla7: See dude, that could be us!
Camarilla7: We could make underage chicks wait on us, spend all our time on ships in the ocean, and be assholes!
Camarilla7: Forming our own religion will allow us to be pirates!
Camarilla7: Just like L Ron Hubbard.

KaoticTendencies: But with way better hair.